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Friday, December 11th, 2009
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12:21 pm
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Dammit--just made a post and yet again my computer ate it.
OK, so the reader's digest version. I'm heading with boy in about an hour to drive to Tennessee for my grandfather's funeral. I am feeling somewhat calmer than this morning (I think packing helped) so will hopefully make it through the weekend sans breakdown.
And in other news, I am realizing that I have been a bit of a pill lately to all and sundry. Being as I am going to a funeral and need to be there to be supportive of other people who were much closer to my grandfather than I was, it behooves me to behave as if it is not all about me--because, really, it isn't all about me. And to those of you in the past week who I have behaved badly too (whoever of you may read this), I apologize. I've got to start acting on what I know, which is that actually behaving right in the first place is much easier than constantly having to apologize--much better for everyone else too.
OK, enough self-indulgence. Time for lunch and then hitting the road.
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| Sunday, December 6th, 2009
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4:57 pm
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My grandfather died on Friday. It is strange, if only because I am thirty and this is the first grandparent I have had to die. I'm not quite sure what I feel. Perhaps a bit regret more than anything, but it really is just rather distant. In any case, the boy and I will be off to Tennessee on Friday and then return Sunday. I suppose it will be nice to see my family, but it is rather horrible when it comes under such circumstances.
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| Sunday, October 18th, 2009
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7:31 pm
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MATC abstract off to be evaluated.
Paper 1 off to editors for final revisions. Should receive proof on Wednesday
Paper 2 proof will be completed tomorrow at library and then done (I love linux, but it sucks not have Word at home when I need to communicate with editors in heavily formatted documents)
First round of Kaplan tutoring went well.
Sylvan is still going. Must now request that they no longer schedule me on Monday's as I am going insane with the driving and making no money. Really, ten dollars an hour for tutoring - hell, I know people who pay babysitters more than that.
Went for orientation with better paying tutoring company yesterday. Get to set my own rate, but have to decide what it will be. Of course, there is no rush as I am absolutely slammed for the next week.
Because Kaplan, I am now teaching six hours a week of English language instruction, two hours of private tutoring, nine hours of TOEFL prep, and, just when I thought I couldn't get any busier, six hours of GRE. Plus prep for all of the above. This actually puts me perilously close to 40 hours and I am supposed to be part time.
And, of course, this would be the week Sylvan has scheduled me for nine hours instead of the usual seven. But hey, it is really shitty of me to complain in this economy. But it has all happened so fast.
And to top if off, I have a head cold from the front that came through this week.
Oh, yeah, and unless I want to work at Kaplan for the rest of my life, I've got to find time to finalize my CV and application letters to get back on the academic job market. First apps due on November 2nd (and I have to factor in mailing time).
So, excited. Check.
Nervous. Check
Stressed. Check.
But all in all, kinda glad to have something interesting and remunerative to do. Check Plus.
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| Thursday, October 8th, 2009
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9:20 am - Time to do a happy dance
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I'm getting published! I signed a publishing agreement today so in a few months, I'll have an article in a journal. Just a few cosmetic revisions and a new title. Of course, they would demand a new title. Thing is, titles are rather like a mystical experience for me--either they come to me in a flash and are wonderful--or they just lie there, limp and lifeless words. Actually, the current title I have is not especially good, but I am basically used to it. But really, what is there to complain about. Soon I will have my work in print. Will definitely be nice for application purposes.
In other news, I finished my Kaplan teacher training, so now I am qualified to teach test prep for them. Of course, I trained to teach the GRE, so what am I starting. Tutoring a student who is prepping now in order to prep for the PSAT later and starting coordinating the live discussion sections of our English-language self-study program. Because these things are so similar and all. But actually it is really cool that the center feels like I am competent enough to handle teaching programs that don't come with endless reams of explicitly detailed teaching guides. But yeah, I've been teaching for years though, so it's really not that hard.
OK, off to make casserole for dinner then try to figure out what I am doing with my students this afternoon. Yeah, all is pretty good--except that whole advance notice thing--but oh well, I should be used to it by now. Well, and at least advance notice means I don't have time to fret over what I am doing--I just have to make a decision and run with it.
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| Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
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9:56 am - Whoever said children are innocent was an idiot!
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Ah, substituting. Yesterday was...interesting. I was doing 7th grade math and social studies. The day started well. By my lunch break, I was actually thinking that I'm getting a handle on managing large groups of students. The tutoring thing is great practice, but it is a lot different with a handful of students than with 25 or 30. So the morning classes were reasonably productive. I mean, a number of students did hardly any work, but I didn't get the sense that this is especially unusual behavior for them. And quite honestly, it is far too much to ask of me as a one time substitute to inspire the students to greatness. I'm not bad at this pedagogy thing, but I'm not a miracle worker.
So things were going well, and then fifth period. When a student decide to get all artistic on the back of my shirt with a bottle of white out. What really sucks is I didn't know that it had happened because that particular shirt is kinda baggy for a few minutes until other students pointed it out. By that time it had dried straight through both sides of the shirt, completely ruining it. I had to take the shirt off to check the damage, so I finished the day in my undershirt and slacks, which I'm sure was a great look. I just called directly down to the office and asked for an administrator because I'll be damned if I am going to play detective. I mean, it happened while my back was turned and while I have a good idea who it was, I certainly have no eyewitness proof.
The upshot, I suppose, is that the student will be required to pay to replace my shirt, which actually means that I might get a better shirt that actually fits. Its funny because the shirt was probably 15 years old, so I could offer no information about cost or even where to find a replacement. But it means that whatever replaces it, will at least be less dreadfully 90s in cut and styling. I mean, the shirt was a medium, but could have fit two of me in it.
Oddly enough, I wasn't even that pissed. Because, well, the day was going well and the last period of the day also went well. And I just couldn't be bothered to get upset. What's the point? It just gives me an ulcer without actually improving the situation. So now I get to go compose an email to the school discipline offer regarding replacement costs. Ah the fun of my life. But then I get to write a bitchy letter of complaint to the water board on an unrelated matter, so that should be fun.
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| Monday, August 31st, 2009
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8:01 pm
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First day substitute teaching. I survived. And then Sylvan. But, hey, its money.
I actually would like subbing more if I could actually do some teaching, but mostly I just handed out worksheets and sat and watched kids fill them out. Its about as exciting as it sounds. ANd the worst thing is, I keep thinking that there are so many ways to make this material exciting and intersting and active and discussion-based, why are you using class time, that precious face time, for worksheets? Part of this, of course, is coming from a college environment where classroom time is more valuable because there is less of it, but part of it is just me wanting to do something interesting that might actually make a child interesting in learn.
But before this turns into a rant, I will stop.
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| Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
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11:06 am - Once More Unto the Breach
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Two weeks before the semester begins is, of course, the perfect time for a tenure-track job interview.
Ah well, off to Marshall, TX. Wish me luck.
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| Saturday, August 1st, 2009
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10:16 am - From the Big Easy
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| Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
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12:09 pm - I feel very butch
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Of course, I always do when I change a tire on my car. I realize it's not much, but given how preposterously unadept I am much of time, I take my feelings of accomplishment where I can get 'em.
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| Friday, May 15th, 2009
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1:20 pm
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Well, that's that then. My first real publication has been sent out to the editor. It will appear some time next spring. So despite being underemployed and overstressed, at least my scholarship is going well.
I really wish I had time over the summer to work on my next paper idea, but alas, no such luck as I'll be working my weird Sylvan hours plus packing for the move.
Oh yeah, never got around to posting about that. The boy got a job as a math professor at Xavier University in New Orleans, so we are off to the Big Easy at the end of July. At least it will be a more interesting place to be unemployed.
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| Monday, April 27th, 2009
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6:21 am
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Had a wonderful weekend. Got to see an old friend and had wonderful times.
And after tomorrow, the madness that has been the preparation for the most recent campus interview will be over. The entire process has been a bit frustrating and crazy, but it's a great opportunity. And I really need the work. But I am kinda excited. I mean, at least, unlike my present university of employment, a place with a vision and a plan for the future. An ambitious plan, sure, but at least it is a university with a direction.
So now, its off to teach, then drive to the airport, then fly to Virginia. Attempt to sleep and then interview all day Tuesday.
I must remain calm and confident. I can rock this!
Wish me luck!
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| Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
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6:52 pm
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It's really wrong to complain when one is invited for a campus interview, and I am thrilled. But calling me at 11:30 this morning and wanting me to be there Tuesday of next week. And to make flight arrangements in this window. Not entirely cool.
I was actually at a point where the rest of the week seemed very manageable, but now I have to prep for an interview so it will be back to the crazy busy again. Oh well, it is a glimmer of hope. And I really do need to focus on that and not let the logistical craziness of it all get me down.
And I'll feel better about it once I actually purchase my ticket so then I start doing things like finding someone to cover my classes and thinking about packing.
OK, so now, off to send more letters of application because the process, it never really stops.
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| Thursday, March 12th, 2009
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7:37 pm
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Rewriting papers to be read orally. V. annoying.
People asking for copies of paper at a conference. V. good.
Trying to decide if one is getting sick or just responding to cold snap. V. perplexing.
Having tutoring students actively distressed when you are not there to tutor them. V. fulfilling.
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| Sunday, February 22nd, 2009
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9:22 am
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Did not get the job in upstate NY. Am coping.
On the plus side, got to work on a paper yesterday, which was fun. And then Mardi Gras parade! (Only Natchitoches style, so no fun nudity, but what do you do?)
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| Sunday, February 8th, 2009
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2:37 pm - Terry is dead
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I have killed my beloved car that I have had for ten years. Thursday night I smashed the hell into the rear end of a parked car. Thank god no one was in it. Didn't damage the other car too bad, and in any case I have liability. But my car...oh dear. Both airbags inflated. The passenger side airbag hit the windshield and cracked the hell out of it. The collision shattered my driver's side window. And then the front side panels and the fender are shot. Plus I think there is some damage to engine as my car is now sitting in a puddle of coolant. The exploded airbag fucked up my power steering. Yeah, it's not exactly totaled as the damage is confined to the front of the car, but it is as close as matter for such an old car.
Boy and I have decided that it is probably not worth repairing a ten year old car with almost 140K miles. Which is probably true as the blue book value is something like 1000 dollars and I know I have many times that much in damage.
So it means I'm going be able to drop those few pounds I wanted to as I will be doing an awful lot of walking over the next few months. Fortunately, I can ride to school with Jay and walk home and I am only about five blocks from my second job, so this is totally manageable. The only tricky part is the two trips I have to make to Dallas to catch planes, but fortunately car rentals are not too bad right now. And I can only pray that I get a decent job next year so that if I have to buy a car, I can actually afford one.
Oddly enough, I'd been thinking that it was stupid in a town the size of Natchitoches for Jay and I to have two cars (plus he doesn't like my driving anyway --no real surprise there-- and so we mostly use his car when going anywhere). So now I have sorta cornered myself into being more environmentally conscious. Hey, whatever works. And actually, I'm kinda at peace with it (of course, that could have an awful lot to do with the massive breakdown I had following the wreck--kinda got it out of my system).
And damn, those airbags do some damage to your skin when they explode on it.
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| Wednesday, February 4th, 2009
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9:16 am - More Good News!
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Got a call yesterday from another school and have a phone interview tomorrow afternoon. It is nice to be wanted. Unfortunately, I also got yet another letter that announcing that a search at a school I rather wanted to teach at has been called off because of budget issues (which is annoying because the letter rather strongly implied that I would have been seriously considered had the search continued).
It is so hard to focus on the job I have when I other possibilities are in the air. Particularly since I don't feel terribly appreciated at the job I have (which is not exactly anyone's fault and more a consequence of budget issues).
On the plus side, I like the tutoring gig. It keeps me usefully busy and gives me some motivation, so that is good.
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| Sunday, February 1st, 2009
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10:22 am
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Well, the interview went fantastically. It's weird, but I actually feel like I did everything that I could do and showed myself off to the best possible advantage. So, in a way, even if I don't get the job, I've won a personal victory. Actually, the day as a whole was fun--I actively found myself feeling joy and being pleased at points during the day--which is almost novel at this time in my life. But I'd really like the job and I will be hearing in two weeks. So now the challenge for the next two weeks is to keep myself very busy so that I don't have to think about it and spend time second-guessing myself, especially since there is nothing to be done about it anyway.
I liked the campus and the students. The faculty, even the ones not on the search committee and thus not required to be positive and sell the place, actually seemed very happy and to get along very well. Which is exciting and, as I have discovered, not always a feature of all faculties. I could actually see myself being happy there. The students aren't the strongest in the world, but they definitely seemed a little more together than the students where I currently teach. And, really, at this point, I just want a job with a salary that I can live on and some damn health insurance. Because my body is seriously starting to fall apart and at present I can't actually afford to fix any of it. Which is a terrible way to approach things, but with the economic situation, I ain't gonna be getting hired where I am now any time soon, so I'm gonna be leaping at opportunities.
In sum, interview went better than any interview has ever gone for me before. I was energetic and with it, but very controlled. Definitely presented myself well, so now the ball is in their court.
Thanks to one and all for the prayers, wishes, and energy. They really helped me be the best that I can be. And for that, I am endlessly greatful.
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| Monday, January 26th, 2009
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6:59 pm - Update...and a request
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Well, damn, it has been awhile. SO let's see what is new in the land...
1) The Friday before the semester began I find out (BY CHECKING MY COURSES ONLINE) that because of budget cuts I have been cut from three sections of fine arts to only teaching one. When I email for clarification, my supervisor lamely mentions that he was planning on telling me. Three days before classes begin.
2) On the Monday of classes I get added to teach an internet section, which takes the financial situation from utterly dire to merely unpleasant. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to teach an internet section of a course. Fortunately, the online coordinator is an acquaintance of mine and also very helpful. But really, online courses--pretty much dumb. But hey, it's money and teaching, right. I mean, I suppose it is good for people who work weird schedules and want to go to school, but a lot of people take them that this one stipulation does not apply to. Also it means much grading that has to be done on the computer which is v. bad for the eyes.
3) Apply to other jobs. Attempt to convince people that I can work retail. Fail miserably. Luckily I get hired on to tutor 10 hours a week at Sylvan Learning Center. I mean, I'm tutoring actual children, but at least its educational and not boring. I start a week from today.
4) The last (or nearly so) of the job applications for a real teaching job next year have gone out. So here's hoping something will turn up.
5) I am attending three conferences this year. Where I am going to find the money to go to them, I do not know, but unfortunately I had already committed to two before the whole job loss thing. And the third is one that I simply cannot pass up--declining would just be very bad form. So the first weekend of March I will be talking about why we should study bad plays in Chicago; the third weekend of March I will be talking about parody and postrevolutionary French identity in Columbia, SC (but this one is also a guaranteed refereed publication in the proceedings afterward, so yippee!); and the first week of August I will be in New York working as a new play dramaturg at ATHE (the major theatre in higher ed conference that I have managed to not attend thus far and really need to get to to try to stake some kind of claim in this world of academia that I am trying to enter). Downside-- I had gotten a paper accepted at ATHE, but had to turn it down because of aforementioned job loss--(the new thing that came up simply demanded finding a workaround). So now I have to apologize to the people I turned down because I will actually be at the conference but not presenting for them--the only upside for me is that it was a kinda stupid paper that I didn't really want to write. So the plan for February--write MATC paper (fortunately, the second paper had to be submitted complete, so it is done)--oh yeah, and review some period philosophy and literature so I don't sound like an idiot in front of French Literature people at the Columbia conference. Do this, plus brush up on my oral French skills since some the papers will be in French, while teaching face-to-face, teaching online, and tutoring. OK, can do.
Somehow when compressed into digest form, the last three weeks look much less insane than they have felt.
6) In better news, I leave after teaching Wednesday morning to fly to Newburgh, NY to interview for an assistant professorship. If I got it I'd be teaching 3/3 plus directing and designing a show each semester and helping build up their program. They only have a minor right now and it is kinda English-lit heavy, so I think there is work to be done. I really want a job. And, I actually think that my generalist background would be good for this job--plus, they need someone with a lot of energy and the ability to combine academic and practical teaching--have done and can do. So I just have to be at my absolute best all day on Thursday and absolutely wow these people. I can that, right? Yes, I do believe I can (and actually, the past couple of days I have been feeling more and more confident about it and actually looking forward to the trip).
Only potential hang-ups. My flight there is from Alexandria, LA to Atlanta to Detroit to Newburgh--lots of stops meaning more ways for things to go wrong. Well, and my inimitable ability to screw things up when important stuff is on the line. It's kinda like how I tend to peak during rehearsal and then get all slack during the run of a show. I mustn't let that happen.
OK, enough self-indulgent babbling, but just thought I should bring an end to the radio silence.
Now to the request...prayers, positive thoughts, and energy would be greatly appreciated (both for good flying weather and no extreme delays...and more importantly, for me to wow them so's I get myself hired and get out of this adjunct hell) on Wednesday and especially Thursday.
OK, I feel strangely better now--perhaps communication rather than bottling everything up in my little LOuisiana house of doom actually does improve one's mood. Ah well,thoughts for another time.
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| Monday, December 22nd, 2008
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10:49 am - At last some good news
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I've been invited for an interview at a college in upstate NY. Of course, given that I live in the middle of nowhere, the travel arrangements are going to be interesting, but at least, it feels really really nice to be wanted.
Now drive to Texas and seven days with just me and my parents. It should prove interesting.
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| Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
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10:22 pm
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Dammit, why do I have to be sick on election night? I should be celebrating and instead I'm mainlining tea with honey and lemon. On the other hand,
YIPPEE! FUCKING A! HALLELUJAH! GO US!
I can't tell whether I want to laugh or cry, but I know this. This is good.
Also, am currently listening to McCain's concession speech. He is doing splendidly and acquiting himself honorably; his supporters a bunch of ill-mannered louts.
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